i'll save you the carnage i wish someone had saved me

So, I wake up in the morning from a peaceful night's rest (a night that included a put-a-smile-on-your-face dream about T in Kato cleaning my apartment with me), and I go about my morning routine practically whistling and ready to embrace the day ahead. I make some pomegranate tea, plug in to my ear buds, and begin the walk to campus whispering along with Nina Simone, feeling a little funky and like I got a bit of soul.

I get to the crosswalk at Stadium and Warren and approach an oldish man passing out pamphlets. The man is grey and weathered. He's wearing jeans that sag around his waist but are tight from thigh to ankle. The flannel jacket and feed hat propped high on his head give him away. He's a farmer. When I get close enough I can see the deep lines in his face, and it's only at this intimate distance that I feel a little sorry for him. A good ole country boy, conservative, maybe a little ignorant, but empassioned enough to be here. In an instant I wonder if he is sacrificing a day in the field or postponing a shipment of milk to be standing at the edge of campus distributing whatever it is that he feels is so important to distribute.

I take the pamphlet from him and actually say, "Thank you" as though I'm grateful for his service. As though whatever he's selling I'm interested in buying. Then I open the god damned, tri-fold leaflet. Fetuses, brown and mangled. Aborted babies in full, sharp color. An infuriatingly veiled title at the top. Threats of hell-fire and damnation at the bottom. Needless to say, this put a mother fucking wrench in my swell day. I take little solace in the fact that when I throw my pamphlet away, a mere twelve steps or so from where I acquired it, I throw it on top of at least fifty others. Fifty other people who weren't buying what that guy was selling. Propaganda.

I will save you the carnage. Although the pictures of fetuses have been flashing through my mind at random and usually inappropriate times throughout the day, I will not post a picture to this blog. Although a group of pro-lifers are stationed in the center of the campus mall with six-foot posters of bloody, underdeveloped babies in a shock-and-awe campaign, I will not post the photos that would instantly convey my frustration and outrage here.